Courgette Bonanza

I didn't think it was humanly possibly to grow too many courgettes. We are a family who love em on the barbeque seasoned and oiled, my mother in laws ratatouille is to die for. They bake well, soup and sauce well.

Well I was wrong.

Not at the beginning mind you. I watched impatiently as the first flowers developed. Then to my great excitement the odd fruit became finger sized. And then rotted.

More came, More Rotted. Something was wrong. I was disheartened to say the least.

I removed the mulch of manure and replaced with a mixture of compost, sand and grass cuttings.

Bob showed me how to "Sex em up" as he called it. Bob's a left handed, slightly dyslexic East ender who moved out just like me. Double plot - old school - no boxes. Bob also gets on really well with Michael but loves ribbing him about his girly boxed plot. (I like Michaels plot by the way) he's got fruit trees.

Any roads I’m off track so - "We sexed em up real well” this involves pulling off a male flower, ripping off the petals and what you have left on the stalk is the flower equivalent of the erhem Harris. Then you gently pull open the female flower (the one with the fruit) and give it a jolly good jab with the male.

In doing so I created a monster, several of them.

The plants kicked into Food Factory mode almost over night.

I was picking them in the evenings. Every four days each plant the planned would provide beautiful small fruits with the most amazing flowers, taking them home and showing the family my perfect specimens. We were happy to add these to our daily meals.

But then they changed gear and each plant (Yes I planted several of them) had between two courgettes pumping out every four days.

Then I read some growing guide about courgettes and it suggested feeding them every couple of weeks with a standard tomato feed.

Can't do any harm I thought so in went one cap full as recommended and one for luck.

The next week I took home thirty four courgettes. No sooner had I picked them the next set would start to jump into action, the plant would grow a couple of inches, set new leaves and several new flowers would form. They all but gave up producing male flowers after that and I have not looked back.

Neighbours started getting courgettes, fellow allotment holders, family, friends and work colleagues. I was walking home one day and was waiting for the traffic to provide the gap I needed to cross the road. "Nice Courgettes" said an elderly gentleman on a mobility scooter. He had the lot.

It wasn't that we weren't eating any ourselves. On no. If you are what you eat my entire family should have been British racing green. We were off on Holiday towards the end of July and I was damned if they were going in the compost bin.

I had begun taking home the larger broad beans too now along with cabbage and caulis. The potato plants were beautiful with purple and white flowers. The herb bed had filled out. Salads were coming into their own and being welcomed by the family. The French dwarf beans were being picked young. The runners were running. The beats were swelling.

I felt like a proper farmer I did.

Managed to keep on top of the courgettes and handed them out to various victims the Friday before we went on our family holiday.